Day 3

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

Today marks one week from when my world was turned upside down.  One week.  I never thought I’d get through Day 1.  I never thought I’d be here to begin with.  I never thought I’d be living the life I had always feared.  It is getting a little easier.  It’s such a strange feeling.  Maybe the best word, is not “easy”, because I still wake up with puffy eyes from crying in my dreams and reach out for him in my subconscious sleep, but it’s a more peaceful heartbreak, if that makes any sense.  Tonight is our first night of counseling.  I know God will be there with us, I know He goes before us.  You know what it is?  I can feel the healing happening.  I can feel God’s presence and I can feel His work.  I dove into Psalms last night.  Something for the past week has been poking me to read Psalms.  For some reason or another, I always found myself searching for God’s revealing in another Book.  It was Romans, or John, or Philippians, but last night I saw an article about a relationship being saved and the scripture the woman referred to was Psalms 37: 4, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the pleasures of your heart.”  I have referred to this scripture over the last week many, many times.  I have prayed it and I have believed it, wholeheartedly.  I have ALWAYS believed this scripture.  Ironically, I stopped living it.  I got lost in trying to control the outcome and stopped delighting myself in the Lord.  I didn’t stop loving Him, but I did stop delighting myself in him.  I stopped believing that He WOULD give me the desires of my heart, so I figured I might as well just chase them down myself.  Bad idea.  So after reading Psalms 37, 38, and then back to Pslams 36 (this is a glimpse of how sporadic I am in searching for God right now) I found myself in Psalms 18.  I don’t think I ever read so fast and so much.  It was like I could not get the Word into my heart and flesh fast enough once I came upon it. Psalms 18: 30-36.  I gives me God chills to read it now…

As for God, his way is perfect:
    The Lord’s word is flawless;
    he shields all who take refuge in him.
³¹ For who is God besides the Lord?
    And who is the Rock except our God?
³² It is God who arms me with strength
    and keeps my way secure.
³³ He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
    he causes me to stand on the heights.
³⁴ He trains my hands for battle;
    my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
³⁵ You make your saving help my shield,
    and your right hand sustains me;
    your help has made me great.
³⁶ You provide a broad path for my feet,
    so that my ankles do not give way.

He arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.  He has made me great.  Trust and confidence of who He believes I am, wrapped up in a nice little package for me.  I will cling to this.  Today and forever.  Exhale.

My Dare for today is to buy something to show Luke I was thinking of him today.  Intentional love.  Love as a verb. I’ve got this Dare. Easy Peasy.